Seeing Past Your Own "I's"
I have a habit of wanting to write, not only when I hear about something interesting, but when I’m angry. Whether I’m angry about life, or just angry about anything, I have this hankering to write something because I just want to get it out of my system. Out of my head, and onto the page, so that whatever it is can be just put to rest, and I don’t really have to think about it anymore. (Though, of course, as any writer knows, that is simply an ideal that never seems to happen.)
When this post was about to be put up, at the time I was in a particularly bad mood. I’d been short-changed by people who I had considered as friends, whom I had taken specific time and effort to do a favor for, and so I was in a rather… “grumpy” mood. I had a friend with me, also in the same boat as I with regards to the situation, who can attest to how thoroughly pissed off I was.
Though I’ve since calmed down and allowed that situation simply to become diluted in my memory, (aside from the occasional inside joke between the aforementioned friend and I), it set my mind off on a course as I thought about how it truly seems to be applying to everyone around me, more and more. It seems as though people have forgotten about who it means to be part of communities, part of friendships, or even part of the human race with regards to their fellow man.
Selfishness seems to be the common course of action, and everything seems to be about getting ahead in whatever way you seem necessary. Manners and forethought for others are virtually a thing of the past, and I don’t think that most people notice it. And this mindset of every-man-for-himself is so common, that when you don’t fit that mold, you’re thought of as strange, odd, and are even shunned slightly for your actions.
When you hold the door for someone as you’re about to walk in, they hesitate, unsure of what you want them to do. When you pause to allow someone into the street who had been waiting for twenty minutes for a clear, everyone behind you starts to blare their horn, wrathfully mourning the precious four seconds that might have been better spent speeding down the two-lane street.
However, if this were limited only to strangers, it would be completely different. I know people who I used to consider friends who have taken this same approach. They don’t look at the world from the perspective of how actions might impact others, nor do they attempt to perceive how their actions might impact another, but instead only live to see what they can gain.
Instead of a worldview, they only see through their own “I’s”, and it bothers me a great deal. How can you really live like that? It sickens me that the common ideal is to simply care only for oneself, and never worry about how the things you do might impact someone else.
Myself, I’m a fiercely loyal person. I not only welcome the opportunity to help others, but I expect them. I look for ways to help my friends. Anyone who has ever been to my home knows that they are welcome, that there are drinks in the fridge, and that there are spare beds in case they need somewhere to stay for the night, or even several. They know that if there is anything that I can do to help them, I’ll be there as soon as I can, even if I have to rearrange my schedule to be there.
Though there have been times where this kind of an attitude have caused me to be taken advantage of, I still feel that it is the only way that I can morally live my life. I was raised by my parents to serve, and to serve always. I look out for myself, and I use my judgment, but when the chips are down, I work to be sure that my friends know they can always count on me.
I suppose that’s why it bothers me so much when others, especially those to whom I’ve shown such loyalty, don’t care enough to show me the same courtesies. I take that kind of neglect personally, and it truly bothers me more than just about anything else. If I care to keep you in my consideration, I would expect you to keep me in yours. Unfortunately, that isn’t always the case.
I guess my point is this, to those of you who are still reading: Who are you looking out for? Is it only for yourself? Can your friends count on you, or are you always scrambling because people can’t depend on you?
Stop just looking through the lens of your own “I’s”, and try taking a glance through someone else’s.
- K
