a soul’s subtle rage
I’ve been having a weird sense lately that maybe I’m walking in the wrong direction. Not so much in that physical sense, but perhaps because there’s some things that I just can’t seem to get out of my mind. I feel like every step I take, I’m getting farther from where I’m meaning for myself to end up, and yet the whole experience is just so intangible that I don’t know how exactly to turn a 180°.
While I’m happy to be working on films regularly – The past three weekends have consisted of two paid jobs and a free favor, with another shoot scheduled for this weekend – I wonder if perhaps I should be more hesitant to give up my time so readily, especially in pursuits that aren’t necessarily going to do me any good. By which I mean, don’t really have a clear benefit to me, personally.
Even though movies are honestly a series of well-planned coincidences, I don’t think life works out quite that way. If it did, then I don’t think movies would be as popular as they are.
What’s been bothering me most lately, I guess, is the fact that I’ve been constantly working projects for other people who, while they absolutely appreciate my work, don’t seem all that interested in helping me further my own ambitions.
I work early-to-late long hours for people who have yet to show me the courtesy of giving me a copy of the finished project. I volunteer to help others, knowing that in doing so they aren’t going to be appreciative of the time and effort that I’m sacrificing for them for little or no compensation. And while I harbor a deep hope that someday it’s going to come around and something good is going to happen, my rational mind continually reminds me that I’m making movies, not living them, and there really isn’t some bit of deux ex machina coming in the next hour or so.
I am compelled to help them because I know, in my heart, that I am the one for the job. I am the worker in the shadows, the one behind the scenes. When I’m at work, I’m not looking for the spotlight, I’m looking to make sure that my job is done right, done fast, and done efficiently. I’ll do the job so well that you won’t even know it was done, and perhaps that’s part of the problem.
It’s a thankless profession, one that so many people don’t even know about, let alone understand. I tell my friends that I’m going to be working on a set, and instead of interest or understanding, all I get is a sense of disappointment that I’m not fitting in with their vision of the world. My family seems to feel that I’m wasting my time, not getting on with my life, stuck instead inside some bachelor’s limbo. Other “experienced” voices continue to call out, informing me that my ambitions are too high, my skill level is too low, and that I might as well just give up now, because there’s no way that I’m going to succeed.
Well you know what? Screw them all. I’m sick and tired of being passive, being dogged on, being ridiculed, being told I’ll never make it. There’s a blazing inferno burning inside of me, and I couldn’t care less what people are thinking anymore. I couldn’t care less what I’m “Post To” be doing. I’m supposed to settle down. I’m supposed to get a steady job. I’m supposed to enjoy holidays in a specific way, know the names of certain bands and celebrities. I’m supposed to be home watching football or baseball or basketball every other night, memorizing stats and especially knowing the histories and tendencies of a favorite team in each league. I’m supposed to not worry about the technical sides of things, because those aren’t important.
I’m supposed to allow people into my home, offer them my hospitality, and be understanding when they verbally spit in my face and walk away.
Damn it, I’m so tired of doing what I’m “supposed to” be doing!
I don’t want to do it anymore. There’s things that I’m constantly allowing to slip, and I’m so sick and tired of it all. I’m tired of allowing myself to stop striving for the greatness that I know is within my reach. I’m tired of listening to failed people tell me that it’s not worth trying. And I’m tired of trying to fit myself into someone else’s paradigm of what my life should be.
So for those of you reading this, wondering what this means, here it is. I’m done with the charade. I’m done with pandering others, allowing them to pull me down. I’m tired of being told that I’m somehow stupid simply because I look at the world from a different point of view, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to put up with people telling me what I should be doing, when they themselves aren’t doing anything with their lives.
I’m not going to listen to the garbage that people seem fit to barrage me with, because it’s doing nothing to help me. I’m not going to concern myself with whatever standard that anyone else sees fit to apply to the way that I work, or the way that I live my life. I’m taking back the controls, it’s time for me to drive.
- Karratti
jury rigging and other grip traditions
While I’ve worked on numerous small films, commercials, as well as too many student films to count, I never really looked to gain any real credit for it. I mean, sure, I wanted a copy of the finished product to see the stuff that I’d worked on, but I was really more interested in just working the next job. You see, I like to work. I like to move, to lift, to tighten, to come up with unique solutions to problems that come up. (Though, I just found out that I’m listed several times on IMDB, which is a definite boost.)
As such, it makes sense that I often get hired as a grip, and several times as the Key Grip, though I actually prefer to be the Best Boy Grip instead. You see, gripping is all about the heavy lifting. It’s about trying to figure out how to get the lighting just right. It’s about figuring out how to rig up a dolly track so that it can be used smoothly. It’s about trying to figure out how to solve weird problems with the tools that you brought with you.
Enter the art of jury rigging. Jury rigging, (sometimes called jerry-rigging), is the art of making something work without having the actual tools for the job. It’s kind of the reason that duct tape was invented, if you know what I mean. It takes its origins from the rigging of a ship, and how sailors had to make do with the tools they had in order to repair their ship while it was on the sea, because there wasn’t exactly a convenience store around to stop by for spare parts.
On a film set, the mindset, especially for the grip and electrical crew, is to “Hurry up and wait”, which is basically that everything we set up needed to be set up yesterday, and as soon as it’s ready, we wait with anticipation for the shot to be finished so that we can tear it down and do another scene, starting the cycle up all over again. It creates a unique atmosphere of hustle in short bursts, so we have to move quickly to get everything ready, and then move just as quickly to get everything moving again.
While most professional shoots will have a production truck for the grip equipment filled with innumerable odds and ends, independent or “guerrilla” filmmakers often don’t have that luxury, instead relying on their own know-how and creativity to see them through. Right now in my filmmaking career, the former is the exception, rather than the rule, so I often find myself having to come up with unique solutions to unique problems, instead of being able to have the right item for the job.
These include using stones and wooden pallets to create a makeshift bridge for the dolly and track in the middle of a river, or creating a makeshift camera mount with some spare plywood and rope for use in a kitchen counter corner shot. I’ve built a dolly screen mount out of an old chair, duct tape, a cardellini clamp and a gobo head. This doesn’t count the numerous weird and “innovative” setups I’ve designed for attaching c-stands on top of combo stands with five-plus lights and diffusion pieces attached that seem to come up regularly on set.
I think that may be why I get hired. I like to work. I like to work solid hours, and I like to use my head. Filmmaking, especially in independent settings, always has some new problem that wasn’t thought all the way through. And here I am, able to put my head to the task with some gaff tape, a few c-47s, and a Gerber Multi-Tool. It’s like fighting an uphill battle every day.
And what a rush it is when you win.
- Karratti
procrastination
Why do today what I can put off until tomorrow? Because it needs to be done, and I’m such an idiot for not just doing it and getting it over with.
I seem to have a problem with not wanting to start something, especially something that I can’t readily finish in one setting. I put off script re-writes because I know I don’t have three hours to dedicate to it. I put off finishing graphic projects because I don’t have the idea solid in my mind yet, and I know I’ll just sit there staring at the screen for hours. I put off asking that girl I’ve been eyeing for months because I tell myself I just don’t have the time for it.
But let’s be perfectly honest here – There is absolutely no reason whatsoever for why I keep putting things off. I just believe that if I do it later, I’ll be able to avoid doing it, as if putting my head under the sand will truly make all the demands of life actually go away.
But life doesn’t really work like that. Life is a constantly moving bulldozer, never needing to refuel, never needing to stop for any reason, which will simply run you over if you don’t keep moving with it. And it really will run you over, especially if you keep on putting things off that you know you should get to. And there are a number of things that I know I should get to.
I need to stop pondering and start doing. Because if I don’t, then the years will continue to roll on, and I won’t accomplish anything. It’s about time to take control.
And I will.
You know, as soon as I get around to it. <grin>
- Karratti
idea journal
As a writer, you never know when an interesting idea is going to hit you. Sometimes it’s at the perfect moment, such as when you’re actually writing, but more often than not, it’s an an inopportune place and time where you don’t have your computer handy. It may be at a wedding, or at church. In the middle of a date, or a really important meeting. Sometimes it’s even in the middle of an argument, or during the final moments of the big game. And as many writers know, if you don’t get that idea down on paper, it’s going to disappear forever, and you’ll never be able to remember it.
Enter the idea journal. I keep one with me at all times. All it is is a thin, 5×3 inch black leather-bound Moleskin notebook, with no lined pages. Whenever I have any ideas, no matter how crazy or undeveloped, I whip out my notebook and jot it down. There’s no real rhyme or reason to the pages, filled with sketches, doodles, random quotes and sentences, and who knows what else – But there is a record, and it’s been extremely helpful numerous times.
Especially as I write for my sitcom pilot, there are certain lines that come specifically out of real-life, that aren’t planned, but just appear. If I didn’t write them down, they’d be gone, and I would lose an important resource. The same with design ideas, or even original stories. So many thoughts and ideas float about in the cosmos, and it would be a tragic shame if I were to miss one simply because I had nothing to write it on.
So for those who plan to create, I offer this as a tip. Never go anywhere without an idea journal. It doesn’t have to be fancy, it doesn’t have to look pretty. My black book has been through the ringer, and the binding is only held together with an elastic band, but I value that little book more than most in my library, and you would too. For the key to compelling story isn’t just an interesting idea, but it’s the connections and reflections to reality that breathe power and life into it, and give that story heart.
So grab a notebook, and slip it in your pocket, and be sure to always keep it with you – You’ll never regret that simple decision.
Oh, and you should probably have a pen handy, too.
- Karratti
ion drum rocker and the art of plywood
I know that everyone and their mom has now played Rock Band, and if they haven’t, they’ve been living in a cave for the past five years. This little karaoke substitute has created an amazing new way to enjoy your music, to become a virtual rock star, and to pile numerous plastic guitars and drum sets throughout living rooms everywhere. And it’s a total blast.
I picked up my Rock Band 2 set about a year ago, and quickly learned that while many people are familiar with the guitar controllers, the drums were a completely different animal. Considering that no one ever seemed to want to touch the drums, I took it upon myself to learn them, and so I became my friends’ default drummer in any and all Rock Band sessions. I usually can make it through any song on hard, and many on expert, but I wouldn’t consider myself extremely good.
But I do love to play. A lot.
So, it wasn’t really a surprise a few months into ownership that I broke the kick pedal’s plastic hinge. Or that I snapped the bolt on one of the symbols. Or that the pipes won’t properly stay all the way up anymore. That little plastic set had a good, long, life, but I realized that it was time to upgrade.
After some research, and realizing that I really only wanted to use this for Rock Band instead of a career as a drummer, I decided forgo the expensive, high-end electronic drum set ups and went with the Ion Drum Rocker. At first, this worked for me, but I quickly noticed that the thing liked to drop out of the game sporadically. A quick search later, and I discovered that there was some kind of static electricity buildup that caused a charge to run through the system and drop out, which was extremely frustrating during a particularly difficult section or while the entire band was on a good rhythm.
I went through a number of ideas, hoping that I wouldn’t have to send the set in to get it repaired or something, and annoyed that many people complained that the Ion/Alesis customer service was really bad. My ideas ranged from touching the pads to discharge them between songs, putting a vinyl mat underneath the set, to using some dryer sheets, to a number of different alternatives, but nothing seemed to stop it from disconnecting or just having the drums simply stop responding for apparently no reason.
After talking it over with a friend, we thought up that perhaps if we could deaden the charge, not only under the set, but under myself and the entire set-up, we could get it to work. After some rummaging through the garage, and a little hammer and sawing, I slipped some plywood under the drum set, my seat, the kick pedal, and the cords that run to the PS3.
So far, I haven’t had a single problem.
The Ion Rocker is a good set that I’ve had a lot of fun with. The main reason that I put this out there is that I’ve read about some really expensive ideas, including opening up the system and adjusting wiring, or scraping things off the pads, or a number of other ideas, and I thought that they all sounded rather… well, expensive, as well as time-consuming. As far as I can determine, the wood underneath my system at the moment, (on top of the carpet), is just regular old plywood. The cables don’t touch the carpet, which I also think is important.
Anyway, hope that helps someone who was as frustrated as I was. Or even those who aren’t.
- K
UPDATE: Since this posting, I’ve done some extra testing. The kit will sometimes still drop out, and the response that I got from ION was anything but helpful. In any case, I tried a number of other things in addition to the plywood on the carpet underneath the kit, and the most helpful has been a seven-dollar grounding wrist strap that I modified to fit around my ankle, plugged into the ground of a wall outlet. Over New Years, we held a four+ hour Rock Band marathon at my house, and after putting on the “ankle strap”, there were only two or three drop outs total for the whole night. It was cheap, and worked wonders. I would recommend putting the strap around the ankle of the foot that you’re going to use for the kick pedal, because that seemed important, and make sure that the metal piece of the strap is touching skin, not clothing.
In an effort to remove the problem completely, next I’m going to try adding an anti-static mat onto the plywood to see if that helps even more. But I thought that I should jot down this little tidbit for those who are still having problems. Good luck! – K
