a beautiful oblivion

Even as I sit here, typing on my keyboard, I realize that I should be getting to bed, not click-clacking away in front of the computer screen.  But there’s just something compelling me right now.  For some reason, I have this urge to write something out.  It’s this need to be typing, to be creating.  It’s as if the blank page here is an invitation that I just can’t ignore, and I must somehow fill it with something.  I just can’t leave space white any longer.

This need is only compounded by the fact that I haven’t put anything up in a few weeks, even though I’ve checked the page several times, and often said out-loud to myself, “I should really put up a post.”  It’s like my dust-gathering journal that I will often write in out of guilt, simply because I’d committed to myself to do it, wrote in it for a grand total of a couple days, and then placed it on the shelf with a number of other unfulfilled good intentions.

Another reason for this obtuse barrage of prose comes from the fact that I just finished a 12-hour day on a set that didn’t really need me.  I mean, yeah, I did move a couple of things from here to there, but there was no challenge, there was no hustle, and there was no brainpower to my entire day.  The most stimulation that I got out of today was the four cans of Dr. Pepper that I downed from craft services.

Honestly, standing around for 12-hours in the snow while having to move a shiny board a couple feet every half hour or so is anything but fulfilling, and I guess I just need some kind of outlet.  While I’ve definitely worked some mind-numbing jobs in the past, I’ve never been on such a dull set before.  It was just kind of absurd.  And the problem is that I’m supposed to go to set again tomorrow, and I need to find some way to keep things interesting.  Maybe I’ll bring a book or something, which is unbelievably taboo on most sets.

But geez, if they’re just having me do a free job for twelve hours that you could get any half-trained monkey to do, then I need something a little more interesting to dwell on.

And since I’m talking about life, why is it that my life seemed ready to pounce on me as soon as I got back from winter break?  It was like everything was waiting for the moment that I returned to attack me all at once.  I’ve got three shoots in the wings, my pilot jumping into production, my family needing help down south, on top of schoolwork that’s just starting up along with a broken heater that needs repairing and a mess of classes to go to that I would really rather just ignore.

Oh well.  If I wasn’t able to juggle that kind of list on a daily basis, I just wouldn’t be me.  My life is one that just demands constant organization, and I’ve just had to get used to that.  So good to meet you, 2010.  Welcome to my world.  I’m going to kick your ass.  Ha!

- K